My daughter and I were getting lunch in Denver one day after Yoga last week. It was this cool little place that was built in an old automotive garage. Anyway, I found something I could eat and we both ordered. When I was done ordering, Brit looked at me and said you always look and sound so sick when you order. Why do you do that? My daughter cuts right to the chase which is one of the things I adore about her. I sat there for a minute and thought about it. The reality is, she is right. I was being pathetic.
Every single time
Every time I’m asked if it is an allergy, is it Celiac, I break into this diatribe about how it isn’t Celiac but it is similar. I’m not really going to have an immediate reaction but the long term effects are just as damaging. Blah, blah, blah. I really am pathetic.
Most Hashi’s women have similarities
The reason I wanted to dive into this a little bit is because there are some very specific characteristics that run through us Hashi’s girls. One of them is that we generally put ourselves on the backburner when it comes to prioritizing myself and I am absolutely guilty of this. 100%. When it comes to eating out, I feel guilty about asking for so many accommodations or changes to the menu item. Having to put someone out is very difficult for me. But the reality is that my lifestyle, travel for work, etc. requires that I eat out more than I should. It is very difficult to control contamination of gluten, dairy, and other food sensitivities that I have when I eat out. And even more difficult if I am not prioritizing myself when ordering foods.
I opened my eyes.
This was an incredibly eye opening experience. With a goal of achieving and staying in remission, how is it possible to do that if I’m not advocating for myself with the most basic requirements? By basic requirements I mean elimination of gluten, dairy, and food sensitivities. Most importantly gluten and dairy. As I am writing this, I am feeling more and more ridiculous and I hope that if you do the same, and that you are arriving at this pretty significant “aha” moment as well.
Here is the reality. If we don’t advocate for ourselves, nobody else is going to do it for us. Nor should they have to. You are important. You should be your first priority. How can you hope to heal if you won’t advocate for yourself. And I get that it isn’t easy for many of us.
What can you do to begin prioritizing yourself?
- Affirmations are a great way of training your mind to believe yourself a priority. Choose a couple of affirmations that you can repeat to yourself several times a day. For example
- I am important to my family; I have to heal myself first to be able to give them what they need from me.
- I can heal my body if I stop wearing myself out every day
- I will sleep 8-9 hours per night because I need this to heal my body.
- I can achieve the life of my dreams, and I owe it to myself.
- I will do what is necessary to heal myself and get my life back
- Journaling on your Health
- Begin listening to your body by noting the way food affects your body
- Your sleep patterns and how food affects your sleep.
- Aches and pains, headaches and how food might be contributing
- Digestive issues, bloating, gas, etc
- You will find that as you make changes to heal your body, the journaling will help you discover improvements to your health, triggers to symptoms, etc.
- As you discover more about your health and what affects it, you can start taking ownership making improvements to your health and not compromising
- Make yourself a list of restaurants where you can eat cleanly. Use your list for suggestions when you go out to eat with your family and friends.
- Look over the menus before you go out to eat
- Decide what you can eat and how you would like to modify the meal so you are prepared ahead of time.
- Remind yourself before you eat out why you are on a path of healing and keep your end goal in mind so your willpower won’t give up on you.
- And when your family starts to give grief about your eating, you don’t have to apologize. Just do what you need to for you.
- Set a major health goal for yourself and then break it down into small actionable items that will eventually get you to your goal.
- This is important to keep you moving forward and to remind you of why you are working so hard to heal.
- Review your action items frequently and define new actions items when needed.
- Never lose sight of your goal.
- Find a support person
- This person may not be a spouse or a family member.
- It may be a support group and there are many on Facebook.
- You want someone that can help get you back on track when you are struggling to keep moving forward.
- They should believe in you and what you are doing for your health
- And they should be available as you need them.
Healing isn’t just lifestyle improvements and supplements
I realize that these don’t directly influence your health in the way diet improvements or supplements might but the reality is that in order for you to heal, you do have to work through some of the reasons why you got sick in the first place. Part of healing means doing what is necessary to heal including making yourself the priority at least while you are in the healing process and that is not always easy when you have spent your lifetime sacrificing yourself for others. I have vowed to myself to no longer be pathetic when I order food at restaurants and I have to tell you that it is so much easier than having to worry about putting everyone out.
By switching the focus to what I need, I have just given myself permission to enjoy my time eating out. And when we went to breakfast this last weekend, she told me that I had done a much better job of highlighting my needs in a positive way. I encourage you to allow yourself to be self-important, to advocate for yourself in your healing process, to strive towards your goals and in the process, create a healthier more fulfilling life.
It’s been great sharing my thoughts with you. I hope you enjoyed them and got something from them.
Have a wonderful day,
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