Apologies for missing last week. First time in over 3 years, I think. That is a lot of blogs. I can’t actually believe I have that much to say. I was resting and based on my very obvious type A personality it was not easy for me. I am having to learn it’s ok to rest. I’m telling you my story so that you can learn from my stubborn nature and hopefully avoid regression and an autoimmune storm.
I have been really good in that the 7 years I have been working on improving the way I live with Hashi’s, I have not actually experienced a storm, until now.
Let me just say that I didn’t find it fun.
I used to be really good at resting. I could sit down and read a book, really enjoy it and not feel guilty about it.
Over the years of working my business, I have lost my ability to do that.
I have been existing at a constant buzz for 5 or 6 years or so and moving along at a significant pace without much issue, except for maybe the TPOab number that I can’t seem to get below 180 despite everything I’ve been doing .
Duh Tracy.
This is not sustainable.
And why do I think I can’t get the number below 180.
Also Duh.
And I’m completely surprised that I have been able to move at that pace for that long.
My body continues to prove to me that I have incredible resilience, however, why do I need to keep proving that.
Last week, my body decided enough was enough.
I had been having significant headaches for about a week previous, and they stepped it up last week.
Body pain was increasing daily and by the end of last week, it was difficult to move.
I bought the Oura ring a month or so ago.
If you haven’t seen them, you should check them out. Very cool.
One of the things it tracks is my readiness to take on the day.
On Saturday, it was 45 out of 100.
Most days I’m over 80.
And the app basically told me to sit my ass down and rest.
I talked with one of my clients in the middle of it all.
I adore her, not just because she is blatantly honest, but she is.
Her comment to me was “I do this too but you’re the teacher. You should be living by example.”
Ouch!
Not because she said it.
She was completely right.
Because I should be leading by example.
I know that it is not sustainable, but I do it anyway.
What the hell is wrong with me that I have to do this over and over again to myself?
When am I actually going to learn this lesson?
For the last two weekends, I haven’t worked.
I have forced myself to sit and rest.
It’s boring as hell.
And I’m living in my head way more than I like to be, but my body is thanking me.
I get up several times a day now when I am working and move from my chair.
I go sit in the yard with my dog. Just sit and enjoy the world around me.
And today is a much better day because of it.
My body is breathing a sigh of relief and it wants more of this, I can feel it.
Having beat my head against the wall again hoping for a different outcome, I can clearly say I do not like living the definition of insanity.
You know, doing the same thing over and over again, hoping for a different outcome.
I am slowing it down.
Doing what feels good for me.
Moving at a pace that I as a whole can tolerate.
And learning to enjoy my life all over again.
Not such a bad way to start my Fall.
Just happy to be back to almost normal.
Well, my normal.
Point is, don’t do what I do, do what I say. Haha.
Take my word for it. Your body needs rest.
Plan it into your day and make your life so much easier.
Have a wonderful week.
