I have been considering this post for a while for several reasons. I feel by writing a post like this I am stepping into the middle of relationships sort of like an overbearing mother, but I am also an advocate for my clients. And based on some of the struggles that I have seen in their lives and in my own life, I do feel it is important to speak about the best way to support a loved one that is struggling with their health.
Before I continue, I want to acknowledge you as a support person.
Not everyone has a support person so if you are a loving support person, thank you for being there for them. Thank you for loving them. Every person that is struggling with their health needs someone like you. And it isn’t an easy job watching someone you love struggling. Wondering why today they are good and vibrant, or at least on the surface. And then the next day they are moody, angry even and you find yourself walking on eggshells.
They are struggling for no good reason of their own.
They likely aren’t doing anything different than you have been doing. And in many cases, the way they feel isn’t obvious. They probably don’t look sick. And one day can be good and the next day not. You might even wonder if they are faking what they feel because so far, the medical community hasn’t found anything wrong. But there really is something wrong.
Their body is exhausted.
The nutrients are no longer making their way into their cells. They have leaky gut and the mechanism by which the nutrients from the food they are eating is broken. So, eating doesn’t provide the fuel that it should. And without that proper nutrients, they are struggling to have enough energy to get through the day.
You have probably noticed that the one you love is also a little foggy sometimes, or all the time. They can’t remember words, they are misplacing or losing things. Also normal with a leaky gut. The lack of nutrients isn’t helping but they might also have some foods now making it into the bloodstream that shouldn’t be there because of the leaky gut. And this can create inflammation issues with the brain. Lectins from the foods can also attach to the brain tissue creating some issues as well. I know, how crazy is all of this.
And they might be complaining about other symptoms they are struggling with like joint pain, skin issues, heart palpitations or pain, weight gain that just won’t budge, etc, etc. All are biproducts of the body functions that are breaking down in their body.
It can’t be fun watching them struggle and not being able to do anything about it. It must be agonizing worrying and not being able to help. But there are things you can do. You will have to learn to love them a little differently.
Their diet is going to need an overhaul to start.
It they are a client of mine they will know what they need to do, and it is going to be hard. It is a simple process, but it won’t be easy. They are going to need your help here in the worst way. Their body is going to be screaming for their comfort foods, but they can no longer have these foods. If you are trying to love them by bringing them the foods they love, you can’t love them this way anymore. And the reality is that there are foods like gluten, dairy, and sugar that we are all so used to eating that can no longer be part of their diet. And if you are eating these items in the home, they will fail. The best way you can support them is by taking these items out of the house. Gluten particularly because it gets all over everything and it is part of the reason, they are sick. For most of my clients, gluten is part of the reason their body is attacking itself. As a matter of fact, any contamination in the home, particularly the kitchen, just delays their healing process.
Well, it is more than that. It will keep them from healing.
The best thing you can do is support them by helping them remove all gluten from the home. It will help you too but if you are unwilling to give up your gluten, please find a way to get your fix outside of the home.
In the process of making food changes, their bodies are going to rebel for a little bit, as might yours. But please stay the course. You will both get through it and you will both be better for it. And if you can both eat the same for a little while you are both in it together.
I do want to caution about a thing or two. Nagging about doing the right thing won’t help. Stress management is also very, very important and a key player in healing the body. Any help you can provide to reduce stress would also be good as well. It is important to support from a loving place. There is going to be good days and bad days. The bad days are when more help from you will be needed. I know you are busy as well, but if you can step it up for a little while to help get through the initial changes the odds of success increase.
And what do I mean by stepping it up? Cleaning, picking up, cooking, laundry, grocery shopping, help planning meals. All of these things need to get done. Their entire focus should be on what it takes to heal. The best thing you can do is just take ownership of items in the house temporarily so that they can shift their focus to healing. Now you may not be able to take on the entire load of what needs to be done to keep the house running, but maybe there are things that you can take on to help shift the load a little or find another way of getting it done. You might have to get creative. But believe me, it will be so appreciated.
What is a little while?
Well, that depends but most of my clients are going to start feeling better within the first 30-60 days with the proper support and way of eating. The goal is to get the inflammation down and allow the body to begin to heal. And to get the right nutrients into the cells to increase the energy. Once this starts to happen, life should start to improve for both of you.
If it doesn’t, there is more going on. Most tough cases likely have a mold or lyme disease influence that has to be managed and it can take some time to work through this. That is an entirely other blog. Most of my clients do not fit into this category.
As a support person, your job isn’t easy. I’m not just here for my client, I’m here for you too. If you feel you need an ear, don’t hesitate to reach out. I can be reached at firstname.lastname@example.org.
Thanks for listening. Have a wonderful week.