Why is the healing process sooooo hard?

By Tracy Gowler 4 years ago
Home  /  Autoimmune and Self Care  /  Why is the healing process sooooo hard?

I spend a lot of time listening to people that are very sick but aren’t yet ready to commit to healing. And I spend a lot of time listening and finding solutions for my clients that are struggling with the healing process.  I have had time to think about it and I wanted to write why about what I’m finding makes the healing process soooo difficult. 

To start, 95% of my clients are women.  They are my focus, as is Hashimoto’s. 

It is a women’s illness. 

80% of people that do find themselves with Hashi’s are women and it is the most prevalent autoimmune disease. 

Characteristics of women with Hashi’s

  • Incredibly resilient
  • Giving to a fault
  • The nicest women you will ever meet
  • Innovative, successful, overachievers
  • Family oriented
  • Solutions providers
  • Mountain movers
  • Struggle with making themselves a priority

Hashi’s women will burn the candle at both ends to be successful in your careers and be the best partner, wife, mom, friend, etc. etc. etc. 

Here is some more of your characteristics

  • Most have lost their voice. 
  • Lost site of what you need to be healthy
  • Feel guilty because you are letting people down now that you are sick
  • Feel shame because your body has failed you.
  • Been in the medical community for years looking for answers
  • In pain
  • Exhausted
  • Foggy
  • Afraid this is all your life will ever be.

And still, despite the loss of your quality of life you are unable to put your needs above others to start the healing process.

How does this manifest? 

  • I have to ask/convince my husband/partner to spend the money
  • It’s too much money
  • I don’t have the energy
  • I don’t have the time
  • I can’t commit to the diet

All good reasons but I wonder if there is more behind these responses. 

The illness doesn’t come around overnight.  It comes through years of dysfunction and morphing symptoms.  And with that your life morphs to accommodate the illness.  It may not be ideal, but it is comfortable.  It is known. 

Healing is an unknown.  Healing takes time.  It requires the uprooting of entire families.  But more than anything, it requires the priority in the mind of the Hashi’s sufferer to shift.  It requires standing up for what is needed for you.  This is not a place you have existed, maybe all your life. 

This results in being uncomfortable. 

And this shifts family dynamics more than anything.  It asks the entire family to look at what is important and sometimes the answers you get might not be what you want to hear.  So, standing up for what you need and asking your family to support you may be a very big rocking of the boat. 

That’s a hard fight when you feel like shit. 

But you do realize you are sacrificing yourself for everyone to feel comfortable, don’t you?  And that they might be saying to you that they are willing for you to stay sick to keep them comfortably living in the status quo. 

Don’t you deserve quality of life too?  Of course, you do.  Why are you worth less than anyone else in your home? 

And those questions can be the rub for you.  How uncomfortable is it for you to answer those questions?  Maybe this is what deserves a little bit of evaluation.  The only way you might get what you need is with a very big stand for what is required despite everyone else.

Food, is another big, big, big deterrent of change.    I can’t tell you how many potential clients have not taken on the healing process because of the food shifts.  They are willing to put their heads in the sand and accept the consequences that they are actually ignoring. 

We will talk about the consequences shortly.  Let’s finish the food discussion first.

It’s cliché now to say that we eat our feelings, but we do.  Even more than that, food elicits feelings.  Food is all tied up in a big mess of feelings.  We have food tied to memories and stress relief and bad habits.  And man, they are hard to let go of. 

Food is the biggest reason my clients fail.  Every client will fall off the wagon at least twice and in many cases more.  I talk more clients off the cliff regarding food.  And it is hard because there is so much emotion surrounding food.  There is belonging in food.  When you eat differently than everyone else, your whole life changes.  You are judged.  Your social events change.  Eating out is a pain in the ass for everyone because it revolves around your needs.  Vacations, travel are all affected.  It’s a lot of work.  Are you going to take on this hard work if you are comfortable?  You might be miserable, but you are comfortable.

The answer for most is NO. 

They do not want to take on this much change.  Change is hard.  It upsets the balance and you will take that balance over improving the way you feel in many cases.  

And part of the difficulty is that nothing you have tried so far has worked.  So, even tho you want so desperately to feel better, you have lost your faith in ever feeling better.

It’s complicated isn’t it?

I wonder if I can remove the complication for you.  I understand the only way you would choose the healing process is if the consequences were worse than where you are right now. 

Could I do that by illuminating you on a couple of things like:

The consequences of doing nothing.

Helping you truly understand what is required.  What you will need to commit to help the body heal 

I am working on a free 3-part mini-course that will do just that.  It will walk you through the consequences and the healing process.  Step by step. 

I am hoping it will help you choose your health, your life. 

Stay tuned for more.  Coming July 2020. 

  Autoimmune and Self Care, Autoimmune Perspective, Eating for Hashimoto's, Fatigue and Hashimoto;s, Hashimoto's Thyroiditis, Hashimoto's triggers, Healing from Autoimmune, Healing from Hashimoto's, Living With Autoimmune, Tracy's Corner
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 Tracy Gowler

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